Cat Morgan Introduces Himself

I once was a Pirate what sailed the 'igh seas -
   But now I've retired as a com-mission-aire:
And that's how you find me a-taking' my ease
   And keepin' the door in a Bloomsbury Square.
I'm partial to partridges, likewise to grouse,
   And I favour that Devonshire cream in a bowl;
But I'm allus content with a drink on the 'ouse
   And a bit o' cold fish when I done me patrol.
I ain't got much polish, me manners is gruff,
   But I've got a good coat, and I keep meself smart;
And everyone says, and I guess that's enough:
   `You can't but like Morgan, 'e's got a kind 'art.'
I got knocked about on the Barbary Coast,
   And me voice it ain't no sich melliferous horgan;
But yet I can state, and I'm not one to boast,
   That some of the gals is dead keen on old Morgan.
So if you 'ave business with Faber - or Faber -
   I'll give you this tip, and it's worth a lot more:
You'll save yourself itme, and you'll spare yourself labour
   If jist you make friends with the Cat at the door.
                                     MORGAN.

T.S. Eliot